Tell us where you were on June 26, 2015, when you heard the news that "gay marriage" became legal and LGBTQ+ people were finally (in some respects) being treated as equal citizens.
For me, the most emotional day in gay marriage history was June 24, 2011, when the New York State Senate passed and Gov Cuomo signed the Marriage Equality Act (the language: "A marriage that is otherwise valid shall be valid regardless of whether the parties to the marriage are of the same or different sex. [N.Y. Dom. Rel.Law § 10-A]"). We listened to the voting on the radio and jumped up and down when it passed. Didn't sleep much that night. Much credit to Tom Duane in the Senate and Danny O'Donnell in the Assembly for pushing this through after many attempts.
For my husband, who is not a U.S. citizen, and me, the 2013 ruling in United States v. Windsor, which invalidated Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act, had a bigger impact.
At the time, we were living in Canada. Long story short, he had followed me from Japan to the U.S. in 1998 on a student visa. When those requirements (and costs) became too onerous in 2006, *I* got a student visa in British Columbia and we both moved north (Canadian immigration treated my partner as a common-law spouse because we shared an address and bank accounts).
When U.S. v. Windsor was read out on NPR that morning in 2013, I got up from my desk, walked down the hall, and told my husband: "We're getting married." On 7/7/2013, in front of a small group of friends who agreed to serve as witnesses, we were wed. On 9/1/2013, after a grueling summer of collecting all the needed paperwork, we filed for his green card.
When Obergefell was read out on 6/26/2015, my husband had just received his green card and we were preparing our move back to the Seattle area, but we heard the cheers of joy from our queer siblings from across the border.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay, Jerry. On 6/26/2015, my wife and I were on vacation in Oregon, staying at a hotel at the beach. I’ll never forget how I felt as I watched the breaking news on the television in our hotel room. The sun was just setting, and the sounds of the waves cresting, combined with this amazing news, brought a joy to my heart that I’ve only ever felt a handful of times in my life. We now know that even what seems settled case law can unravel under the heat and pressure of the extreme rightwing forces now in play. But oh, that glorious day!
Beautiful article, Jerry, and so grateful to you and all the other activists who together made marriage equality possible. I was part of the Vermont Freedom to Marry coalition that helped yield the first legal step toward marriage equality, which was called Civil Unions. What I remember about all the testimonies at the statehouse was that the only argument put forth by the “against” people was religion. Several state legislators ended up voting in favor, knowing that they would lose their seats (and most did). The testimony of the “for” people, meaning us, was all queer families talking about the various ways that lack of legal recognition of our families was hurting us…very human, very compelling. It was an incredible moral moment for our state.
Wow, great piece! I can’t believe it’s been 10 years! Reading it brought me back to the moment when I first heard the news. I was living in San Francisco at the time and was on my way to Madame Tussaud's for the unveiling of the first transwoman wax figure of Laverne Cox, whom I was also set to interview during Pride Month. We've come such a long way, yet we still have so much to fight for, especially with the efforts to roll back progress.
For me, the most emotional day in gay marriage history was June 24, 2011, when the New York State Senate passed and Gov Cuomo signed the Marriage Equality Act (the language: "A marriage that is otherwise valid shall be valid regardless of whether the parties to the marriage are of the same or different sex. [N.Y. Dom. Rel.Law § 10-A]"). We listened to the voting on the radio and jumped up and down when it passed. Didn't sleep much that night. Much credit to Tom Duane in the Senate and Danny O'Donnell in the Assembly for pushing this through after many attempts.
For my husband, who is not a U.S. citizen, and me, the 2013 ruling in United States v. Windsor, which invalidated Section 3 of the Defense of Marriage Act, had a bigger impact.
At the time, we were living in Canada. Long story short, he had followed me from Japan to the U.S. in 1998 on a student visa. When those requirements (and costs) became too onerous in 2006, *I* got a student visa in British Columbia and we both moved north (Canadian immigration treated my partner as a common-law spouse because we shared an address and bank accounts).
When U.S. v. Windsor was read out on NPR that morning in 2013, I got up from my desk, walked down the hall, and told my husband: "We're getting married." On 7/7/2013, in front of a small group of friends who agreed to serve as witnesses, we were wed. On 9/1/2013, after a grueling summer of collecting all the needed paperwork, we filed for his green card.
When Obergefell was read out on 6/26/2015, my husband had just received his green card and we were preparing our move back to the Seattle area, but we heard the cheers of joy from our queer siblings from across the border.
Not sure how much further into the past mr trump and his minions will take us!
well with this impending war in the middle east, could be the stone age?
I’ll never understand our desire as a culture to constantly move backwards when moving forward is always so much more beautiful.
Thank you for this thoughtful essay, Jerry. On 6/26/2015, my wife and I were on vacation in Oregon, staying at a hotel at the beach. I’ll never forget how I felt as I watched the breaking news on the television in our hotel room. The sun was just setting, and the sounds of the waves cresting, combined with this amazing news, brought a joy to my heart that I’ve only ever felt a handful of times in my life. We now know that even what seems settled case law can unravel under the heat and pressure of the extreme rightwing forces now in play. But oh, that glorious day!
Beautiful article, Jerry, and so grateful to you and all the other activists who together made marriage equality possible. I was part of the Vermont Freedom to Marry coalition that helped yield the first legal step toward marriage equality, which was called Civil Unions. What I remember about all the testimonies at the statehouse was that the only argument put forth by the “against” people was religion. Several state legislators ended up voting in favor, knowing that they would lose their seats (and most did). The testimony of the “for” people, meaning us, was all queer families talking about the various ways that lack of legal recognition of our families was hurting us…very human, very compelling. It was an incredible moral moment for our state.
this is powerful! thanks so much for sharing!
Wow, great piece! I can’t believe it’s been 10 years! Reading it brought me back to the moment when I first heard the news. I was living in San Francisco at the time and was on my way to Madame Tussaud's for the unveiling of the first transwoman wax figure of Laverne Cox, whom I was also set to interview during Pride Month. We've come such a long way, yet we still have so much to fight for, especially with the efforts to roll back progress.
this is amazing, Emillio, and such a vivid memory!